when asked who do you want to be, we normally quickly give answers, but not all the answers to either other people or ourselves reflects on who we want to be, but rather what we wish/ want to have.
"I want to be a wealthy person", "i want to have a big company" , " i want to have a happy family", " i want to be the president"
These all explain what we want to have either power, money, possibility to do things etc. But that doesnt explain who we want to be. It always leads back to identifying who we are by who or what we have. My husband, my job, my etc etc.
We should look inside our own selves and decide who we really want to be, either a happy person, then it means i will do things to make me happy, make others happy etc.
If you decided you want to be an open minded person, then you grow the way to become that, not your partner, or people around you should make you measure your worth out of them being part of your life. We should measure from our won part and then how and what we do and possibly mean to others.
The trick is, imagine of who you want to be, start by acting as who you wish to be and that will soon be you.